One Step Forward One Step Out & Do the Hokey Pokey Dance

So when my darling husband (aka dh) and I started on this journey of trying to have children two years ago we told ourselves that we would not get too worked up if it didn't happen right away and we believed that it would happen when it was meant to happen. So there were a few months where I did charting, and I did ovulation tests, but for the most part we just winged it. I had a pretty good idea of when I was ovulating (and recent tests have proven me correct) and so we tried for the most part to time things and see what happens. Well about 18 months in our "it'll happen when its meant to be" attitude got old. We started seeing more people around us experiencing fertility issues and even more (it seemed) getting exactly what we were wanting. That's what prompted us to start seeing a fertility specialist - to figure out if there was anything wrong and then we could make a decision on what we wanted to do going forward.

After the last two months I feel like I'm stuck in a game of the hokey pokey dance - "put your right foot in, take your right foot out, put your right foot in, take your right foot out". We made a huge step forward when we were actually able to conceive. But if you've been reading my previous posts we took a huge step backwards shortly thereafter.

My biggest agnst (outside of having a miscarriage) has been the waiting for my period again so we can try again. Yesterday I felt like I won the lottery and aunt Flo showed up (Sorry for TMI). So that was my step forward, now here for my (multiple) step backwards: I am going on business travel during d13 through d17. Somehow I don't think we're goign to make anythign work this week. For a few crazy moments I considered a few things:

1. Cancel the trip - I didn't really want to go anyways
2. Bring dh with me - Hey! I have frequent flyer miles so it would only cost $50!

But we wouldn't be able to do any kind of treatment or monitoring if I left. So it took about a day but I've resigned myself to the fact that there won't be any actual trying this month - just fun practicing. I suppose that's a good thing, but I was very much looking forward to trying and hopefully success right away again.

So back to what I originally said - maybe its not supposed to happen just yet - maybe next month (when we have our three year anniversary) will be the right time. Sounds like a good time to me!