February 23, 2009

Another Rant About How Completely Unfair and BS this whole TTC thing is

Its been said time and time again on any infertility blog and I know I've said it many times on mine - This is not fair!

On Sunday we found out a friend of my husband's and his wife are pregnant... 7 weeks in fact... I'm happy for them, that's great news, but here's the kicker... They went off the pill in JANUARY.


Yup January... WTF??? And not only that she's a little off her rocker (actually diagnosed as off her rocker and has to take meds and that's not fun but I think that stuff messes with your fertility (in theory))... has done drugs... and they were going to split up like four or five months ago.

On Saturday my very well intentioned MIL said something about trusting in God... blah blah blah... I stopped listening right around that time and everything happens for a reason. Which, as a sidebar, I couldn't believe I was hearing from her because she experienced infertility and miscarriages herself.

Well with the news on Sunday I just don't know about this whole "Everything happens for a reason, trust in God" theory. It is a little shaky. I would like somebody to tell me what the reason is that after a year and 1/2 of trying we got pregnant but had a miscarriage. What is that supposed to teach me? What is another 9 months of TTC unsuccessfully supposed to to teach me? What is the reason for this? When there's a crackhead somewhere who is pregnant, continues to do drugs and is probably going to lose her kid to social services because her drug use and that kid is going to have probably a sucky ass life in the foster care system.

It makes me sad and pissed off.

On related news we have five more sleeps until official test day. I'm really proud of myself - I have not bought any poas tests and really haven't had a urge to buy... probably because I really can't handle that kind of disappointment in the middle of the week. If things don't work out, let me just say that this weekend is going to be ugly. I've already warned dh to have ice cream on hand and that I won't be presentable in public.


Flower said...

IF Sucks!!!

I'm sorry you had to go through that (((HUGS))) I will be sending you some positive vibes.

WhatAboutNovember said...

It sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks. There's no way around it, and no way to sweeten it up - except maybe to think about how worth it it will all be. Hang in there.

Sarah said...

I hear ya honey. Really, I do.

Big hugs