Because I have nothing else to really focus on right now....

So as I've mentioned previously my dh has gotten this idea in his head that if we do get pregnant we must wait until after we've heard a heartbeat before we tell anybody that we're pregnant (I may have contributed to this line of thinking).

This is something that I was onboard with but lately more and more I really don't know how that's going to work. I mean if we were going to keep this a secret, the last time round would have been the time to do it since we essentially got pregnant unexpectedly (22 months of ttc and no luck is unexpected when it does happen). At that point nobody knew all the gory details except for a few and nobody at all knew what my cycle was.

**just as a backstory on this - last time we found out we were pregnant and then i started bleeding the very next day, so we didn't have a chance to tell ppl happy news with out the bad news at all**

The game has changed since then. People know what's going on... people know my cycle... and they know when we'll know if things worked or not. I mean we can choose not to make a confirmation of anything, but the lack of denial will pretty much confirm things. I"m not about to lie to my friends and say no it was negative when it was really positive just to keep a secret a little bit longer. Additionally I've been thinking, say we do actually have success but (god forbid) we have another miscarriage early on... I'm gonna end up telling people (close friends and family) anyways since I'm going to be a huge soppy depressed mess again - and you can't really hide that kind of behavior that well anyways. I feel like I would have wanted to tell them the good happy news rather than "yeah I'm a sad soppy mess because we did get pregnant but we msicarried again" We did that the last time round with half of our friends and family and the poor things didn't know whether to be happy for us that we actually got pregnant finally or sad for us (ultimately they were sad, but they wanted to say it was good we finally had success, like I said, very conflicting directions).

So to round out this random babbling mess, as much as I dream of having the big reveal to our families on Christmas Day when I'm 8 weeks along, I don't think its a reality due to our situation. Like I said - people know and its not exactly like I'm going to avoid talking to them for the next 5 weeks if we do have success. Oh and one more point - there's no guarantees that things will be ok after any point in a pregnancy so I don't think we should use various stages as a firm marker of when we tell people. I'm thinking we don't necessarily have to wait until the heartbeat, but we should just do it when it feels right and if that's earlier than a heartbeat then that's the case.

What would you do?