About the last few days....

I have to say that the last few days have not been good. Not for any particular reason, and not because anything newly bad happened. I am blaming the clomid. I took my last dose on Sunday so apparently five days of dosage really kicks up the amp on the side effects. I've been up and down on an emotional rollercoaster for two days now. I finally clued into it yesterday afternoon when I started paying attention to my moods and what could possibly be causing me to be so completely in the dumps and then to be perfectly happy a few hours later. Not cool, not cool at all. So I have to apologize for yesterdays post - it came out of a place of where I was feeling very very low and I have to believe that most of that low came from chemicals that were capitalizing on some fringe feelings. I am very happy to say that today I have yet to swing into crazytown. So if you were worried please be assured I have regained sanity! I have high hopes that it will stay that way, at least for a few days. :)

On another note - as I was walking back from the bathroom this morning with my negative opk in hand it struck me as bizarre/intersting/funny at the things that need to be done that I never thought was part of the baby making process. I mean really... its come to this: blocking off time in my work calendar so I can run home and do a little mattress mambo with dh, and looking through my calendar for the rest of the week to make sure I had the time blocked off; and then hanging out in a bathroom stall for 3-4 minutes while I wait for the stick I just peed on (ovulation predictor) to tell me what I already know.

(I have to do opk's this week until Saturday when we go in for our mid-cycle ultrasound. Since I have to take the test between 9-10am I figured, well I guess I'll just bring the whole box into work and leave it in my desk. Of all the personal items I keep in my desk, I never thought opk's would be one of them.)

No wonder women who don't have to try hard think infertiles are a little wackadoo. The obsessions with peeing on a stick at various times of the month and analyzing every single cramp and gas bubble along with the drugs that make you think you're loosing your mind anyways, I would think I'm a little wackadoo myself. Just have to keep reminding myself that it is all worth it and it will be good memories once its all over.